Nezaradené

Jana a Martin – stupňujúce sa konflikty

Posted on by poradna

Jana (37) a Martin (40) prišli na párovú terapiu po 10 rokoch manželstva. Majú dcéru a syna vo veku 6 a 3 roky. To čo potrebujú riešiť sú konflikty kvôli práci a dôvera vo vzťahu. Martin je veľmi často pracovne odcestovaný, niekedy aj polovicu z mesiaca. Jane nedávno zomrela najmladšia sestra na onkologické ochorenie čo u nej spustilo depresiu. Vzájomné konflikty prerastali do postupného vzďaľovania sa a v súčasnosti už spolu nežijú, uvádzajú že už k sebe necítia lásku, nevedia čo cítia a či má ešte zmysel zostať spolu. Obaja prejavili ochotu pracovať na sebe a pozrieť sa na to čím prispelik súčasnej kríze.

Z Janinej analýzy vyplynulo napríklad aj nasledovné: „Potrebujem mať veci pod kontrolou. Ak nemám kontrolu, stane sa niečo zlé, aj mne, aj mojim blízkym. Ľuďom sa nedá veriť, nepostarajú sa o moje potreby. Preto sa musím spoľahnúť iba na seba a urobiť tak sama. Potrebujem aby ľudia videli veci tak ako ja, keby sa riadili mojimi pravidlami, tak by bolo všetko v poriadku. Jana je najstaršie dieťa z troch sestier. Vzťah rodičov opisuje ako verný ale bez vášne, nikdy nevidela rodičov riešiť konflikt, ani sa hádať, ani si prejavovať pozitívne emócie, prejavy lásky a uznania. Vo vzťahu Jana nerozumie emocionálnym prejavom a má problémy porozumieť manželovi ak veci nevidí tak ako ona, ak sa neriadi jej pravidlami. Vtedy to nemá pod kontrolou a spúšťa sa strach že sa stane niečo zlé. A začína si presadzovať svoje.

Martin má mladšieho brata. Často s ním v detstve mával konflikty lebo bol sebecký. Seba charakterizuje ako svedomitého a zodpovedného. Vzťah rodičov bol plný lásky, mali k sebe blízko. Z Martinovej analýzy ďalej vyplynulo: „Potrebujem byť súčasťou, byť zapojený. Nemám rád keď som mimo a vystrčený, keď ma vynechávajú. Pre Martina je najhoršie keď niekto zistí, že nedokáže splniť veci ktoré sľúbil. Má perfekcionistické tendencie, zapája sa, ale iba do bodu keď podáva výkon podľa vlastných neprimerane vysokých nárokov. Potom je neustále preťažený a musí veci vypúšťať, čo ho privedie do ťažkostí keď druhého sklame alebo sa cíti ako neschopný.

Spoločne sme prešli podrobnú analýzu ich osobností a povedali sme si jej dopad na ich vzťah. Spolupracujú dobre ak je nízke napätie. Jana túži po kontrole a Martin po tom byť zapojený. Keď Jana cíti, že je Martin pozorný k jej potrebám a vo všetkom súhlasí s jej plánmi, vtedy je spokojná. Martin túži po pozornosti a pocite že patrí k Jane. Ťažko pracuje aby ho vnímala ako dobrého a aby jej vo všetkom vyšiel v ústrety a naplnil jej potreby. Keď je však jeho obraz u Jany akokoľvek negatívny, spúšťa sa mu presvedčenie že zlyhal. Keď je Jana nervózna a panovačná, skrýva pred ňou svoje podráždenie. To môže fungovať krátko, ale keď cíti že je na neho nahnevaná, stáva sa Martin veľmi mrzutý, podráždený a ustráchaný, a snaží sa napraviť a zamaskovať svoje nedostatky. Jana to vníma tak že chce mať vždy pravdu, z čoho je nervózna a spúšťa sa u nej strach že nemá kontrolu lebo jej názor nie je prijímaný. Začína si presadzovať kontrolu alebo od Martina uniká a prestáva s ním komunikovať. Takisto Martin môže unikať, v tomto prípade do práce. V práci má Martin pozornosť a ocenenie ktorú potrebuje, no stráca rodinu. V rodine sa cíti neschopný a nezaangažovaný. Jana na neho nalieha, chce to mať pod kontrolou, čo uňho spôsobuje výbuchy hnevu a následný pocit viny a strachu že bude odmietnutý. Alebo s ním Jana nekomunikuje, čo v ňom znova spôsobí veľké napätie a neistotu. V tomto mieste Martin buď urobí všetko čo Jana chce aby ho vzala na milosť, alebo opúšťa nahnevanú a nespokojnú ženu.

Obom potom pomôžem pozrieť sa na ich konflikty cez podrobné analýzy ich osobností, chybné vnímanie toho druhého ktoré vyplýva zo vzorcov z pôvodných rodín. Tu je potrebné aby si obaja hĺbkovo cez EMDR terapiu spracovali zranenia svojho „vnútorného dieťaťa“, to znamená u Martina najmä strach zo zlyhania, a u Jany strach priblížiť sa k mužovi, otvoriť sa a prijať aj iné názory a negatívne pocity.

Po podrobnej analýze osobností prichádza spracovanie zranení, prípadne tráum. Postupne pri práci s pármi som zisťovala, že ak sa páry dostanú do krízy, tak je za tým vždy nejaké hlboké zranenie, trauma ktorá vzťah postupne podmýva ako spodná voda. Pokiaľ som chcela párom naozaj pomôcť, potrebovala som sa dovzdelať v psychotraumatológii, aby sme tie chybné vzorce a presvedčenia mohli hĺbkovo spracovať a potom reagovať bez emocionálneho náboja z minulosti. Nadobudnutá sebaúcta prinesie zmenu vzťahovej dynamiky. Jana si spracovala svoj strach a bola tak schopná spolupracovať s manželom a prijať aj jeho potreby ktoré boli odlišné od tých jej. Takisto sme spracovali depresiu zo straty sestry. Martin si potreboval spracovať svoj strach zo zlyhania, z toho že ho Jana opustí ak nebude dokonalý. Bol tak schopný prijať jej požiadavku a diskutovať o nej. Vzťah sa im tak prehĺbil, bol kvalitnejší a láskyplnejší.

poradna

130 thoughts on “Jana a Martin – stupňujúce sa konflikty”

  30. is zithromax an antibiotic says:

    I’ll immediately grasp your rss feed as I can’t find your email subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you have any? Kindly allow me understand in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  31. does azithromycin treat uti says:

    Hi, I do think this is a great blog. I stumbledupon it 😉 I am going to revisit once again since I bookmarked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.

  32. how much tadalafil to take says:

    I will right away grab your rss as I can’t in finding your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please let me recognise so that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  33. furosemide to torsemide conversion says:

    You made some really good points there. I looked on the web for more information about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this site.

  34. how to take augmentin says:

    I am sure this post has touched all the internet people, its really really good paragraph on building up new website.

  35. fluconazole cream 1% says:

    I’ll right away grab your rss as I can’t find your email subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please let me understand in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  36. fluconazole diflucan 150mg says:

    Greetings! I’ve been reading your site for some time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Huffman Tx! Just wanted to say keep up the good job!

  37. generic for fluconazole says:

    Thank you for every other magnificent post. Where else may just anybody get that type of information in such an ideal approach of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I’m at the search for such info.

  38. propecia tablets online says:

    I am sure this paragraph has touched all the internet viewers, its really really good paragraph on building up new blog.

  39. macrobid sulfa allergy says:

    Ahaa, its fastidious conversation about this piece of writing here at this webpage, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.

  41. tadalafil generic name says:

    I simply couldn’t leave your web site before suggesting that I extremely loved the usual information an individual supply to your visitors? Is gonna be back steadily in order to check out new posts

  42. tadalafil says:

    I have read so many content concerning the blogger lovers however this paragraph is really a good post, keep it up.

  43. levitra without price comparison says:

    Everyone loves what you guys are up too. This sort of clever work and coverage! Keep up the very good works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my personal blogroll.

  44. sprunki phase 9 ggtp v2 says:

    NGL, Sprunki Phase 9 GGTP V2 is low-key sus in the best way possible. The glitch effects are so well-done and they don’t break the game. Total masterpiece!

  45. sprunki cooking with moch! says:

    I’m curious about the mechanics behind Sprunki Cooking With Moch!. Is there a hidden combo? The visuals during the transition look sus, like there’s an easter egg. Love it!

  46. sprunki cooking with moch! says:

    OMG, Sprunki Cooking With Moch! is an absolute banger! The music tracks slap so hard, and the visuals are next-level. This dev team never misses!

  47. Mrs. Andrea Estrada says:

    These are in fact enormous ideas in concerning blogging. You have touched some good factors here. Any way keep up wrinting.

  48. ciprofloxacin drug class says:

    Ahaa, its nice dialogue on the topic of this post at this place at this weblog, I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

  49. typical dosage for furosemide says:

    I just could not go away your site before suggesting that I extremely enjoyed the standard info a person supply for your guests? Is going to be again frequently to inspect new posts

  50. drinking alcohol with wellbutrin says:

    Hi! I’ve been reading your website for a long time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Austin Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the great work!

  52. chemical formula lisinopril hydrochloride says:

    I will right away seize your rss feed as I can not to find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please allow me know so that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

  53. fluconazole suspension pediatric dose says:

    I’ll right away seize your rss as I can’t to find your email subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Please let me know so that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  54. lipitor goes off patent says:

    Ahaa, its nice conversation about this article here at this weblog, I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

  55. zoloft generic breastfeeding says:

    It’s hard to come by educated people about this topic, however, you seem like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks

  56. buy tadalafil india says:

    Ahaa, its fastidious dialogue concerning this piece of writing at this place at this web site, I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting at this place.

  57. cheapest pharmacy viagra canada says:

    Therse aree really imprssive iddeas inn concerninbg blogging. You have touched somee pleasant poiints here. Anyy wway keep uup wrinting.

  62. mirtazapine and sleep says:

    I am sure this piece of writing has touched all the internet viewers, its really really nice post on building up new weblog.

  63. esomeprazole 40 mg spc says:

    Ahaa, its fastidious dialogue concerning this piece of writing here at this webpage, I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

  65. mebeverine where to buy says:

    It’s very easy to find out any matter on web as compared to books, as I found this piece of writing at this web page.

  66. buy asacol generic says:

    There is definately a lot to find out about this topic. I like all the points you have made.

  67. is reglan an antibiotic says:

    Ahaa, its nice discussion regarding this piece of writing here at this webpage, I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting here.

  68. convert omeprazole to pantoprazole says:

    I simply couldn’t depart your website before suggesting that I extremely enjoyed the standard info an individual provide for your visitors? Is gonna be again frequently in order to investigate cross-check new posts

  69. protonix pill identifier images says:

    I like what you guys are usually up too. This kind of clever work and exposure! Keep up the excellent works guys I’ve added you guys to our blogroll.

  70. ursodiol gallstones says:

    Wow! Thank you! I constantly needed to write on my blog something like that. Can I implement a part of your post to my site?

  71. avodart says:

    I wanted to thank you for this good read!! I definitely loved every little bit of it. I’ve got you book marked to check out new stuff you

  72. tadalafil medication says:

    I will right away grasp your rss as I can not to find your email subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Please permit me realize so that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  73. vardenafil says:

    Definitely, what a magnificent website and informative posts, I will bookmark your blog.All the Best!

  74. avanafil says:

    I just like the valuable info you supply in your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and test once more right here regularly. I am somewhat sure I’ll be told many new stuff proper here! Best of luck for the next!

  75. generic antibiotics says:

    Hi there, I read your blogs like every week. Your writing style is witty, keep it up!

  76. viagra online says:

    Ahaa, its nice conversation about this piece of writing at this place at this weblog, I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

  77. toprol says:

    These are truly fantastic ideas in concerning blogging. You have touched some nice points here. Any way keep up wrinting.

  78. remeron medication says:

    Wow, this paragraph is fastidious, my younger sister is analyzing these kinds of things, so I am going to tell her.

  79. doxycycline antibiotic says:

    Ahaa, its pleasant dialogue on the topic of this paragraph here at this website, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.

  80. furosemide 40 mg says:

    I like it whenever people get together and share ideas. Great website, continue the good work!

  81. fluconazole 150 mg says:

    Lastly, identical to CSR Racing 1, expect this game to have updates transferring forward, including new cars, missions, and challenges to spice up your gaming expertise.

  82. rifampicin says:

    I like what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever work and reporting! Keep up the amazing works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to our blogroll.

  83. furosemide 20mg tablets says:

    Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this post and also the rest of the site is also really good.

  84. furosemide tablets says:

    Wow, this post is nice, my sister is analyzing such things, so I am going to convey her.

  85. doxiciclina says:

    Ahaa, its pleasant dialogue about this piece of writing here at this website, I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

  86. prilosec omeprazole says:

    I like reading through an article that can make people think. Also, many thanks for allowing for me to comment!

  87. furosemide lasix says:

    I love what you guys tend to be up too. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the amazing works guys I’ve included you guys to my blogroll.

  88. domperidone medication says:

    Incredible! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a totally different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Wonderful choice of colors!

  89. dutasteride says:

    Ahaa, its good dialogue concerning this piece of writing at this place at this website, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.

  90. colchicine pill says:

    I will right away seize your rss as I can not in finding your e-mail subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly allow me realize so that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

  91. buy amoxicillin says:

    Wow, awesome blog structure! How lengthy have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The entire look of your web site is wonderful, as neatly as the content material!

  92. furosemide 20mg says:

    I am sure this paragraph has touched all the internet people, its really really nice piece of writing on building up new blog.

  93. furosemide generic says:

    I simply could not go away your web site before suggesting that I really loved the usual info an individual provide in your visitors? Is gonna be back often in order to inspect new posts

  94. furosemide 40 mg tablet says:

    Hi there, I read your new stuff like every week. Your writing style is awesome, keep doing what you’re doing!

  96. sildamax says:

    I just couldn’t go away your site before suggesting that I actually loved the standard info a person supply to your guests? Is gonna be again often in order to check up on new posts

  97. dellmx7k says:

    Dellmx7k seems promising. Just started exploring, but so far, so good. Fingers crossed for some wins! dellmx7k

  98. mex777slot says:

    Mex777slot, you say? Sounds spicy! Gonna give it a whirl tonight and see what the fuss is about. mex777slot

  99. finasteride says:

    Incredible! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It’s on a completely different topic but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Wonderful choice of colors!

  100. buy amoxicillin antibiotic says:

    It is truly a great and helpful piece of info. I am happy that you shared this helpful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

  101. zoloft cost says:

    In the monthjs that complidd with, information electrical outlet entered into extended durations of soul-searching aand also self-flagellation while Trump took triumpph laps.

  102. doxycycline antibiotic says:

    Ahaa, its pleasant dialogue concerning this article at this place at this website, I have read all that, so now me also commenting here.

  103. zoloft generic says:

    I really like what you guys are up too. This type of clever work and exposure! Keep up the fantastic works guys I’ve added you guys to my personal blogroll.

  104. azithromycin tablets says:

    I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I certainly enjoyed every bit of it. I have got you saved as a favorite to check out new things you

  106. lansoprazole otc says:

    Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and also the rest of the site is also really good.

  107. pantoprazole otc says:

    I’ll immediately snatch your rss feed as I can not in finding your email subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please permit me know so that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  108. cefadroxil says:

    I like what you guys are usually up too. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I’ve added you guys to my blogroll.

  109. levothyroxine pill says:

    I’ll right away seize your rss feed as I can’t in finding your email subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please permit me understand in order that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  112. Pingback: misoprostol

  113. Pingback: furosemide 40 mg tablet oral

  116. Pingback: furosemide 20 mg tablet

  118. Pingback: minoxidil pills for women

  121. Pingback: sildenafil tablets 200mg

  128. Pingback: vidalista black pill

  130. Pingback: viagra online store

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *